. . . how many inches are you. . .

How many inches are you? Every seventh grade boy dreads that question. After all in those developmental years being deemed small is worse than playing in the band in tenth grade. Measurements for some reason equate to worth. Listen to the commercials advertising extendz the natural male enhancement drug. You know listening to Methodist clergy is often like watching seventh grade boys with rulers attempting to figure out who is the biggest man.

Appointments! That is a funny word in the vocabulary of a Methodist preacher. Nine months out of the year appointments relate to the every day act of meetings, counseling and all to often family time. However, for three months between February and April that word is transformed into an economic/ political word filled with the expectations, abuses and secrecy of a presidential war-cabinet.

Just like we have anonymous reports from the war cabinets of our nations president so we have from the office of the Bishop and his Cabinet wars and rumors of wars. Every February through April the apocalyptic work of moving clergy from church to church to para-church to retirement is undertaken.

Today two friends of mine received new appointments. However, before the words of the appointment rolled off my tongue I heard belly cries of wrong. Rulers to measure the size of the appointment soon came out. "He doesn't deserve that salary!" one colleague exclaimed. "He hasn't put in his dues!" another countered. "He has never even been a pastor of a local church!" a third claimed. While the forth in her condescending voice said, "interesting, very interesting!"

Guy Ames is a friend of mine. He is the District Superintendent of the Aardmore District. In Methodism District Superintendents (DS's) are placed in geographical regions as administrative and pastoral representatives of both the Bishop and the Conference. Several years ago I was gripping to Guy about how I felt about so and so getting such and such an appointment. Guy, looked at me and said, "Michael, at thirty bitching is to be expected but if you are still bitching when you reach thirty-five it will be time for you to look for a new career." Another way of saying this is measuring yourself in seventh grade is natural but if you enter adulthood still obsessed with you members size you need to find a real life.

Today, I want to say to many of my colleagues a similar thought. Jealousy about someone else's goods does not reflect well on your own. Or as every junior high boy learns sooner or later measuring yourself against all the other boys in seventh grade will always leave one feeling small. The value of measurement is to place on something a worth you are willing to pay. However, if it is a measurement unrelated to your payment than creating a measurement for it is to place yourself into something completely un-related to your own good. While I do not always understand the decision making process of others I must admit that such a decision making processes are not mine to understand.