Formation is the key

You know I might be one of the most stupid people in the world. School is starting, the bars are full of drunken college students, vandalism is returning to the streets of Stillwater and I am wondering what it might look like if the church believed in Christian formation as opposed to American individualism.

You see tonight as I was sitting at the Wesley Foundation I looked outside my window and to my shock I saw a young 18-20 year old girl servicing (Monica Lewinsky style) three or four 21-25 year old boys in the darkened corner of our front yard. Abruptly I opened my door at the Wesley and walked out only to be asked by the young intoxicated girl if I wanted to be next. I reached down picked her up off the ground and asked her-- do you really want to be doing this-- she said, "who the f___ are you?" Interestingly enough all the boys scattered into the night. I told her I was the United Methodist Minister at the Wesley Foundation and I was concerned that she didn't know what she was doing. She said, "Well I am Methodist and it is none of you G-- D--- business what I am doing."

While I know this is a exceptional case I must admit that most of my brother and sister United Methodists function on this type of individualist based privatised morality. Sadly I must say it is not merely lay people that operate with this morality but it is all to often those of us who are professionally trained clergy. Somehow many of us have arrived at an ethic of what I do is no body else's business. How I raise my children, how my spouse and I relate, how many times I trade in my spouse to try out another (serial-polygamy is another term for this trait), how I pay my tithe, how I shop, how I eat, with whom I have sex and how I think are completely and totally issues of which nobody else deserves to speak to me about.

This young girl is the product, albeit the extreme example, but the product of our failed formation. I know she did not want to be on her knees-- at least not being humiliated as nothing beside a sex toy/dog. Not a single one of those young boys stood by her. Tonight I find myself on my knees humiliated by our failure as a church to tell the truth. This young girl like all our kids need to hear "the church doesn't allow you to exist as private citizens." What you do with your body, with your production, with your mind and with your resources is of corporate import and we have something to say about it. We believe that sex, money, speech, etc. etc. etc. are governed by a particular understanding of Jesus Christ. Put simply, out of which narrative did she learn such a horrendous idea that something exist that is completely and totally only about her. I suspect the narrative that taught her is not found in the gospels but rather on Madison Avenue.

PEACE

who, whose, to whom

It is that time of year again! College students are moving back into Stillwater! Roads are becoming difficult to travel. Stores are crowded! The movie theaters is constantly busy. In many ways, as a campus minister, these next two weeks are the most exciting two weeks of the year.

My phone rang yesterday morning at the office. It was a grandmother of an incoming freshman student. She told me that her grandson was coming to Oklahoma State University and she wanted us to get him involved. I asked her several questions! She was very nice and told me that he grandson was an outstanding young man. Finally, as our conversation was winding down she dropped the bomb- she said, "My grandson does not attend church!" She continued, "He was baptized when he was a child but his parents never attended." I asked, "Why did they baptize him?" Surprised she said, "Because they are a Christian family!" We hung up the phone with the all the niceties and I called the young man.

She was truthful to me! He was nice, cordial and everything that grandma believed. However, as I invited him to come to the Wesley for our opening night he said very plainly. "I appreciate your invitation but I do not believe in any form of public religion. I think all religion is a matter of private belief and I do not see a reason for church organizations."

I have to admit baptism with no community, baptism for grandma's sake, is a baptism that is very dangerous. As I have reflected on this conversation for the past few hours I have asked myself over and over to whom is this young man initiated. Who can those who baptized expect this young man to be? And whose responsible for his development?

Grandma wants us to be responsible! I will do my best but I must admit both the parents and the church that baptized him has made doing this job very nearly impossible.

perfecting grace . . .

My favorite book ever was written by a Nazarene Theologian named Mildred Bangs Wynkoop. To be honest I never had the opportunity to meet Mildred or even really know anything about her as a person. Mildred, however, caused some fairly cataclysmic changes in my life. You see, in her-- Theology of Love-- I found myself confronted with the real gospel as opposed to the artificial gospel of popular cognitive belief systems of my childhood.

A friend of mine in Stillwater has been going through a lot of problems these past few months. His wife has shared with me problems of both significant legal and serious depression because of accusations that have been made by some of his past employees. In fact, the accusations have been so serious that my friend ended up loosing his job. Having public newspaper articles written about himself and being degraded publicly. Last week while I was in Mexico my friend had the opportunity to taste a moments vindication in that the accusations against him were thrown out of court.

Sunday my friend and I shared a few moments of exchange as I looked into his eyes as I preached and watched him listen intently as I spoke about forgiving enemies, doing good to those who harm us and praying for those who hate us. After the sermon was over my friend looked at me and said, "You and Gerard are right-- it is not easy but it is essential if we want to claim our baptism."

Mildred in her wonderful book challenges us to understand that Christian belief is not centered in sin, it is not centered in right thinking, it is not centered in any form of cognitive belief but it is centered in a practice of love that transforms our lives into the management of God's perfecting grace.

Between two places:

I have been sitting here on this bus, on this bridge, between Laredo and Nuevo Laredo for approximately three hours. In the rear-view mirror one could see the steeples extended into the sky of the Mexican Catholic Church—in the front window it is the lone steeple of the Catholic Church of Laredo. To be honest, on this Friday morning—I wonder what Sunday Morning in these two locations must feel like as we look across these artificial 200 yards. 200 yards separated by economics and access.

Yesterday, I went into a bank in Queretaro to convert $200 US dollars into pesos. The banks in Mexico have long lines. Often a Mexican citizen can sit in line for more than two hours just waiting to pay an electric bill. However, as I strolled into the bank I received my number. I looked at the number and took my seat expecting a long wait. I had been there for about three minutes when the attendant walked up to me and gave me a new number—a lower number—a number that meant I would by pass all the waiters. On this bridge I must admit I understand why my Mexican brothers and sisters swim the river, sneak across the borders. It is not that the promise land resides on the other side-- it is that access to the other side mean access to lower numbers. Seriously, access to places of power, economics equals a un-deserved dignity.

I will never be able to forget several years ago one of my students from a small third world country telling me, “We don’t come to United States because we think it is a better place to be! We come because United States has worked hard to make itself the only place to be.” During the 1950’s United States said that it was fighting against the globalizing military philosophy of communism, which could only survive by the expansionist policies of over taking its neighbors. Let me suggest today that the last vestiges of communism resides in the economic practices of the United States and its expansionist cannibalism that leaves must of the world with higher numbers and little options.

The two churches I can see—one in the rear view mirror and one in the front window represent what I believe is the only possible power able to undo this horrifically bad politics of elitism that has come to be called America.

missing child-hood . . .

Last semester one of my young daughters friends was at the Wesley Foundation with Abriana on a Thursday night. We walked out of the Wesley to go down the strip to grab a quick soda. As we walked past a few students, who happened to be drunk, this young child said out loud, "Why do you think when people grow up they loose the ability to be creative as they entertain themselves." I laughed and ask her, "Why she said that?" She said, "Look at all these students they think walking from place to place drinking beer is fun."

Very seldom in the past thirteen years of Campus Ministry have I really wanted out. Today, however, I have simply wanted to escape. Let me explain one of my students, a student I respect and feel deeply toward, had her 21 birthday last night. A few of my other students felt it appropriate to join this student in celebration of her 21 birthday. Please understand I am not a legal-ist about drinking but I must admit that drunken-ness is simply something I find to be repulsive. I find the practice of using a substance-- be it legal or illegal-- as a means of entertainment to be a pathetic misuse of human creativity.

I suspect what disappoints me most with these students is their inability to be creative in the celebration of God's wonderful gift of life. I hurt that we, who name ourselves Christians, lack the ability to see ways to celebrate that do not submit ourselves to the institutions and practices of the worst of our culture. I am finally angry that the best we can expect of people who call themselves Christians is to act like their pagan neighbors.

I wish that one of the requirements of baptism was an intensive course in teaching children how to retain their creativity so that when they grew old their faith was not so indistinguishable from the rest of the world.

values are for used cars . . .

I working on making contact with incoming students today. As I was working my way from facebook site to facebook site I received a little sidebar message. It read, "Family Values at $99 a month from AT&T." I have to admit I deeply enjoyed this advertisement because all it takes to expose the essence of the Family Values people in United States today is a used car salesman or a facebook advertisement from AT&T.

At the root of the American conversation about family is an economic understanding of worth and value. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that politicians and sadly religious leaders alike have accepted the exceptional-ism of America because rooted in their language about the American family is an economics that allows them to determine what something or someone is worth. Therefore, while we do not kill poor blacks in America we are happy to allow them to live in substandard housing-- yet we will happily kill poor blacks in the Democratic Republic of the Congo so that we can continue to manufacture play-stations and cell phones (this is a reference to a wonder chapter in John Perkins-- The Secret History of United States).

I think it is time to switch the question more specifically away from questions of family and begin asking what it is we mean when we say family. What constitutes a family! What are the essential when one talks of family! Does family exist outside of some notion of a larger body that gives it identity!

In the Catholic church wherein marriage is a sacrament one might have a valid argument to suggest that family has no meaning apart from some form of corporate body language. I for one think this might be an interesting idea to suggest that family is determined not by sexual relationships between parents birthing offspring but it is defined by the relationships that make both celibacy and fidelity sacred covenants.

As a United Methodist clergy person I must admit that I am deeply saddened that my churches language regarding family has been reduced precisely because we have failed to do a theology of marriage and/or singleness and in this light we do not know what it means to be celibate or to live in fidelity.

No wonder a good percentage of my denomination is serially polygamous. Isn't it funny how we condemn the polygamy of the radical Mormons yet live an insidious polygamy of multiple marriages only in serial fashion. What might it look like if the Texas rangers would deem protestant marriages dangerous to the lives of children when their parents refuse to take seriously their covenants of "for better or worse?" It might be interesting if the news media would run stories about the destruction of young peoples lives because of the failure of marriages in the name of individual liberty. But then again we have decided that our individual liberties have value and our children are expendable.

walking Saint Hood . . . .

Many of my students find it somewhat funny that I am pretentious enough to believe that if you want something you ask for it. Therefore, often as I am reading a book I will pick up the phone and call the author to ask them a question. This always baffles my students who have grown up thinking that meaning is always accessible if you simply read close enough.

My first encounter of this experience came while I was in seminary. Many of the students were fearful of Dr. Stanley Hauerwas. He was a bit pretentious and aggressive however I was not sure what he was saying one day in class. Therefore, I climbed the stairs up to his office, knocked on the door and was greeted with the phase, "What the hell do you want Bartley?" So I told him, "I want to understand what you said?" He laughed his obnoxious laugh and said, "Damn~ most students just want a grade!" On that day we began a long history of me asking, him laughing and us talking. One of the things I learned during those early experiences was the fragile-ness of meaning.

The other day I was looking over some information on my desk and I noticed that Jean Vanier was going to be speaking at Duke Divinity School in November alongside Stanley Hauerwas. I picked up the phone and heard the ring and the classic answer "yeah!" No "hello", no "this is Stan may I help you." Just "YEAH"-- I spoke his name and heard with youthful joy "Michael, how the hell are you!" We went though the short niceties that every old friendship does and I said, "I see that you and Jean Vanier are going to be together!" Stan responded, "Yes!" I asked what would be a good event to attend. Stan immediately said, "Michael attend anything where Vanier is speaking and I am not!" Laughing I asked, "are there times when you will be discussing alongside him?" He said, "Yes! But don't come and hear me-- you know me and it is not very often that you get to listen to someone who will someday be a Saint."

Yesterday, I drove three hours south of Stillwater to a little town called Marlow to visit some friends of mine. Jack and Betty and two of my favorite people in Oklahoma. They are not my favorite people because of how much they have or how much they give-- Jack and Betty are two of my favorite people because of how deeply they seek to follow Christ. I understood Stan's comments after my visit yesterday. "It is not very often we get to listen to Saints!" I am blessed to call some of those Saints friends even those pretentious ones like Stan!

why I am not a good american . . .

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. In the midst of that conversation I said something like "my mother is the best mother in the world!" My friend looked a bit puzzled and said, "How do you know she is the best mother in the world?" I laughed and said, "Because she is mine!" He said, "damn, you think very highly of yourself!" After a few minutes of bantering I said to him don't think that my mother being the best mother in the world is mutually exclusive of your mother being the best mother in the world. I do not have a "mother exceptional-ism"

For a number of years I have referred to myself as a "bad American." This label has often caused myself, my wife and my children some pain and many a student has been baffled. However, I have insisted that being a "bad American" is absolutely necessary precisely because of "American exceptional-ism." That is, when Americans say "our government, our nation, our politics are the best in the world" they do not mean it the way I mean "my mother is the best mother in the world."

Literally the existence of America require by its very nature a political cannibalism that places all other nations or claims of loyalty underneath its canopy of superiority. We have not escaped, nor will it be easy to escape Jeffersonian philosophical liberalism. Therein is the danger of Christians participating in the American political system.

finally . . . just maybe . . .

Michaela is my middle daughter! She is sixteen years of age. I would say that she is most naturally the child in our family that has been the most resistant to the church, not to faith but to the church. From the time she was very young she has had a deeply personal faith that could at times only be called profound (sorry April). But at precisely the same time she has had an even deeper resistance to the involvement of the church in her life and more precisely its effect on the life of her family. On numerous occasions throughout her young life she has begged for me to change my career. Without hesitation she would tell me, "Dad, the church just gives me bad vibes!"

Understand Michaela has always been in church. To be part of our family is to participate in church. When Michaela turned thirteen we talked about her attending a confirmation class. She said, "I will if I have too but if it is boring, stupid or not worth my time I am going to leave." We looked hard for a confirmation class that didn't fit any of these categories-- if fact I was very close to allowing her to try out various confirmation classes from lots of different denominations-- however, I was fearful that she might say, "all of them a boring, stupid and not worth my time" and we would have lost her to the church altogether.

Anyway, I tell you this because four days ago Michaela came up to me a said, "Dad, I want to go to Duke Youth Academy next year!" But before I go I want you to put me on a reading schedule so I can learn all about the churches history, teaching and theology. When I go I do not want to be behind of the other kids. I asked her what she expected, "she told me, I want a deeper understand of why God needs/wants the church.

We began our reading today. She is reading a wonderful book by Martin Copenhaven called "To Begin at the Beginning." She will follow that up with a book on Baptism and one on the Eucharist both by William H. Willimon and then will complete her summer reading by reading Monika Hellwig, "Eucharist and the Hunger of the World." It is going to be a long slow process but I have already been blessed by a child who doesn't just want a cute confirmation process but truly wants to be confirmed in her faith. I give thanks for Michaela's strangeness, her long patiences and her willingness to name that the church gives forth bad vibes.

PEACE

Mike Myers and the Church

I feel stupid for telling you this but I am an avid fan of Mike Myers. As one who counts himself among the more sophisticated movie critics I must admit that I should be embarrassed by my fascination with Mike Myers. However, I actually find some significant meaning in his brand of nonsense.

Tonight I went to see the movie "The Love Guru!" While it certainly is not the movie I would recommend at several points I was drawn into the philosophical questions as to what it means that people in our world are so empty, lonely and hurting that people like Depak Chopra and other guru's of cultural paganism are thought of as inspirational, powerful and spiritual.

While Mike Myers openly admits that much of this movie was drawn from his deep and long friendship with Depak Chopra I found in this movie a tragic commentary on the condition of the Western soul willing to search for anything to fill its void.

As I left the movie I thought a lot about the churches ability to turn her pastor's into chaplains performing services but not doing the gospel. The victory of pastoral/ practical theology has done significant damage to the gospel. Pastor's busy taking care of the assumed needs of the congregation are forced to ignore the poor. Pastor's busy watching after the programs do not develop relationships in the neighborhoods that surround the churches. Furthermore, laity who are constantly care for seem to forget that they are not called to be consumers of the Churches but missionary.

Yesterday, I spoke with one of my local colleagues, as we were bantering around these ideas he said, "Yeah but if you don't do these chaplain thing you are not liked, you don't get paid well etc . . .." Tragically I have to agree with him. Our congregations expect us to be servants of those who come through our doors-- however, as "The Love Guru" aptly demonstrates those who we need to serve do not naturally come through our doors and require us to engage them outside our locations of comfort.

I have a student who has been living in constant tension for the past few months. This student is by far one of my favorite students. I like her simply because so much comes so naturally to her that I do not have to struggle over every conversation with her. She has been one of the easiest students to work with over the past few years. However, in the past several months as we have been attempting to move beyond those who simply come to us she has really beeen struggling. Her sense of our duty is the service of those who use our doors. For her we are chaplains of those who notice they need us. I find this to be a tragic because in her desire for us to be chaplains she is missing her call to be Christ servant to the larger context of our society.

In "The Love Guru" tonight I watched the lampoon of what it means to move outside oneself in order to find oneself. Mike Myers character at 12 years of age was bound to chastity until he was able to learn to love himself. During the following years this character continued to be under the bounds of a steal chastity belt because he could not find the secret of loving himself. However, in the mean time this same one who could not find help for himself had become known by others as "The Love Guru" and written several self-help books. His work up until today had been done with people who come to him. However, he was hired to help a hockey player who had left his wife but was not able to play hockey without his wife. The catch-- the hockey player didn't believe he need help. For "The Love Guru" to help this one who didn't believe he needed help he had to extend himself into the life of the player. In doing so the chastity bondage was released and he found himself able to begin experiencing the freedoms of life.